Ew.

I haven't been on in awhile and I hate that I am coming back angry!! Twitter does not allow enough characters for me to say exactly what I want.

Disrespected and disgusted! Excuse the alliteration, I did not do it purposely. That is exactly how I feel right now. I show little kindness to people and when it is revealed I guess it is taken for weakness. TAH, bitches, tah mothafkkn tah! Never again. I am done with the both of you two. You both are disgusting, beyond trifiling and deserve a trip to the clinic! Free clinic that is, yea being broke does not have shit to do with it but I'm putting shit on blast. Haha!

I'm so silly.

When you see me don't speak. When my name is metioned act like you don't who I am. I wish you both a horrible horrible life. Sadness daily and anger every other hour. I wish you no reason to smile for the rest of your pointless existence.

Do not ever disrespect me!
That is all.
Thank you!

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Little Laughs

The smallest things can put your mind at ease and make your heart smile. My mind has been racing since about 3 am and it will not stop. Thank God for the beautiful girl that is Ma'Leeha-Yaviana! Her small giggles at nothing are honestly making my day. God has blessed my life with her presence, I swear she has taught me so much. Never stop until you get what you want and always laugh, even when it is not funny! Two year olds can make or break your day and she is making mine!

Where did it all go?

Respect.

Dignity.

Integrity.

I really wish that I could see more of this on a daily basis. I want to see it from my friends, family and associates. I want to see it more of it within my self. I want people to realize their self worth and address that in every day life. If you do not think highly of yourself do something in your life so that you can. Where did it all go?

It has been lost between the feelings of abandonment and the agonizing defeat of loneliness. Grasp onto what is good, hold onto it and make it better. These three aspects may be lost now but they are not gone forever.

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When you least expect it

People really will surprise you when you least expect it. I guess you have to give some people credit for the things that they do. Even when it may be different from what you will do. Some people out here really do know what they are doing. I guess it is fine to have a little bit of faith in people.

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Why do right?

Lately I have been accessing every situation that I can, even if it does not have to do with me. Wondering why people act the way they do and do what they do. If they are doing it for themselves or if they are trying to please other people. I have noticed that people are selfish and pathetic. Actions I have seen are simply lazy, desperate and inconsiderate. I see words with so much meaning tossed into the air as if there were nothing. I see people being lied to and embarrassed. I also see these same people afraid to express how they really feel. If everyone is in it for them, why do right? Let us all lie to get whatever we want or whatever we may need. Let us all be the lowest people that we can be for small insignificant moments of satisfaction.

This blog is entitled "Why do right?" Do it because no one else is doing it. Seems like nobody wants to conform to society these days. Well be different. Take the first step and be honest with yourself. You have to live with yourself so make sure your doing right and ask yourself. Are you proud of who you are? Would you want your children to act like you?......

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It is 4:15 AM

Think of how many people you come in contact with every single day. The ones that you know and also those who are strangers. Think of the thoughts and feelings you have towards all these people. Are they negative? Are they mean? If you were given the opportunity to speak with every single person would you listen or talk first? When you did have your turn to speak would say what you first thought when you seen them?

Take the time to listen. Have the patience to listen first and the respect to speak last. Take every single word they say as if it were there last and you were the only one that they could speak to. Would you take the time?

After listening to their words, stories, and their life do you still think your first thought? Do you still want to to share it with them?

Before you speak always think, after you have thought, think one more time. These people that you pass may look fine on the outside but past their blank faces could be a pain so deep you would not even be able to comprehend. They may have had made some decisions in their life that they cannot change that you could not even fathom to choose. While you were passing your judgment with your eyes when you walk passed a burning pain singed their heart. Such a saddening heat within their body their fingertips looked red. You never knew though. Does that make it ok?

What if it was your statement that sent them to the edge. What if it was your judgmental ways that made them fall to their knees?

We can never know what is going on in peoples lives or if they will be there tomorrow so that we can apologize. Walk slowly pass these people and smile, hope they are doing well. Tread so slowly and carefully choose your words. You don't ever want to be the one to blame for someones horrible, maybe last day.

Story of my Life.

Why me? What did I do?
Now I am a very confident female and sometimes I feel myself a little too much. I love myself, the way I am, look, and dress. Nobody can ever bring me down. Basically I am hot ish and I don't care what anybody has to say about it. I know that I am desirable, and yes honey your man does want me but the things that have been occurring lately I do not understand. I am not Nicki Minaj nor am I Trinia. My hair is not down my back, my eyes are not exoctic and I do not have an ass out this world. So please tell me why BOYS continue to lie on me. No sir, we never had sex. No sir, you never slept in my bed. Excuse me sir you are 20 yrs old why are you lying? SMH. I mean do boys lie and tell people you have sex because the girl in question has an amazing personality? NO! Lets be serious. I am a cute chick but nothing to be lied about. At least I do not think so. Boys are so silly! Get it together LAMES!

My last blog like this was a little angry, I see I am making great strides!

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Secrets

Just in case anybody was wondering, secrets no longer exist. Yes! It is true. Everyone will find out everything that you do. Therefore if you are ashamed of it and do not want people to know, well don't do it! I promise you it is that simple. I will let you know about the inspiration behind this blog.
Females, yea yall! I say yall because I am not in this category. If you do not want people to know you are having sex with him, his friend and his roommate. Then do not do it. Please do not confuse this with the neck rolling females that say "get out of my business", because this is a completely different situation. It is perfectly fine not to want people in your business, but if you are solely acting because you think people are not going to find out. Eh. Eh. Get it together! There are no such things as secrets.

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Why Not?

Who made the saying you cannot always have what you want. Why not? Seriously. I am almost 2o years old and I have gotten everything that I wanted. Not so much in a materialistic sense, but more of responses from people. Well what it really boils down to is attention and then some. I know what I want, then 15 minutes later I want something else but then something is always holding me back from that second thing that I think I want. I probably only want it because of the challenge. That cannot be good. Smh! Maybe I should just go for it and see how it works out? Or maybe I should stick to my morals and do what is right? Well then again I don't know what right is in this situation.

I know I should stay away so that is what I am going to do.

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Stephanie Documentation 11

I hate how quickly my mind changes. Ugh. I could be thinking on thing and then have a conversation about it and be thinking about the next. So annoying. That was Stephanie Documentation 11!

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Wo Wo Back it up

I am the first to point out someones flaws. Always the first to pass judgment on peoples actions. Well let me take this time to back up all the way out of peoples business and flaws and worry about my own. Lord knows that I have them. Let me be the first to tell everyone that I have not been acting in my character lately, and I am not proud of this at all. I have finally set back and reevaluated the entire situation and I am turning into one of them. I was on the verge, I am talking on the edge of the cliff. Thank God I took ten steps back. Wo Wo Back it up Stephanie. ALL THE WAY UP!

I will not be apart or to be blame on someone's unhappiness, intentionally that is.
I now realize that I cannot have everything that I want, every cannot belong to me.

Karma was tapping my shoulder reminding me that she is a bigger bitch than I am and I need not to mess with her.

I apologize for my thoughts and my behavior for egging on the situation.

I do not want to be one of those girls, therefore I am done.

I have just now remembered what I am worth and what I deserve. I will not be the one to sell myself short. Respect, dignity and honesty will always be apart of my character.

Stephanie Documentation 10

Everyone always says that we cannot help the way we feel but we can control our actions. Just needed to remind myself of that.

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What we say

I really do not think people understand the power of the tongue. Words can really hurt someone mentally and emotionally. I am speaking beyond hurting someones feelings I mean having an enormous impact on someones life in the most negative of ways. Do you want to be responsible for someones unhappiness. I speak from experience because half of the things that I say to people when I am angry are uncalled for. Watch what you say and how you say it. Try to not let your emotions get the best of you because regrets are not a good thing to have. I am trying to be more careful everyday with what I say and for those who know me can understand that it is a work in progress.
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Official

I like to think that I know myself very well but sometimes I amaze myself. I love to chill, we don't even have to be doing anything I just like being around people. Mainly males because we share the same sense of humor. I can chill with females but things always seem to turn into a competition. Not with males though. I had a great weekend chilling with the homies. I am officially just that girl who is going to chill with males. Official.
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Quicker than the Seasons

My mood and attitude changes quicker than the seasons. I want this and then I want that. I need some consistency in my life. When it snows I could be happy when it falls but by the time they shovel it up I could be depressed like someone stole my puppy. Samething happens with people, just quicker than the seasons.
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I am awake

I was asleep and now I am up. I am angry. Very angry. If I was up for the reason I want ted to be up then everything would be cool. FML! Just come here!

Off Limits

Again this is from my blackberry.

Why is that when things or certain aspects of life are off limits we find them more attractive? Or is it just me? Please take a moment to think about this. People under the age of 21 want to drink. People under the age of 18 want to smoke and both of these ages want to go to the club. The same things apply to people. Those who are attachted in some sort of way always seem more attractive. UGH!

What happened to learning from our mistakes! Apparently I cannot do that!

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Stephanie Documentation 9

I type this from my blackberry, that's how bad I need to get this out. I enjoyed your company and appreciated your concern for my weLl being. Thanks for being next to me and keeping me warm. I'm so good, cool and content.