Temporary Smiles

Lately it has been because of you. I do not know how I feel about that but that is what it is. I am mad that I am smiling right now. I do not know what it is about you and I do not think I want to know. I say it is temporary because I have not faith in your sex. I appreciate your empty words but I love the gentlemen in you. I just wanted to say thank you for these temporary smiles.
So...Thank You!

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Dissapointment

Does disappointment equal irritation, is it the same thing? Well if it not the same thing they most definitely correlate and stem from each other. Even though I would rather be irritated than disappointed I hate them both, especially when it is from unexpected people. What did I do to you? I would love to be informed so that I can apologize and make sure that I do not do again. I do not care about being wrong I just want the same friendship we had. It angers me more and more each day that I do not why you continue to act like this. I am disappointed in your actions and lack of words to me. This is not you. I am to the point where I am just going to let you know how everything is and how it going to be.

Do not punish because of the way that other people treat you.
Talk do not ignore, I have learned that from experience.

Be very aware of the example that you are setting.
I hope that hit hard. Thanks!

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How much is to much.

People make mistakes, I get that and accept that.I make mistakes as well seeing how I am a person. Lol. So obvious. We forgive when people are wrong and give them chances. How many chances are too much? When do you give you?How much can you take from one person?!?!

Stephanie Documentation 8

rough day.
from 8 am until now....just rough
I smiled a few times...just a few
UGH!
I have nothing else to say.
Stephanie is not having a good day and Stephanie does not like this.

Not my day

Today is not my day. You know how people say you must have woken up on the other side of the bed, well I woke up under the bed. Today is not my day. Who wakes up with an attitude, I am talking about since 8:15 AM. Who does that? I have been so tired and unhappy lately it's crazy. I have been on edge and every person I have spoken to besides 3 people have managed to piss me off even more. UGH! This is crazy. I cannot even pinpoint what is wrong with me so how am I supposed to know how to fix it. I took a shower, took a nap, ate good and kept to myself. I kept to myself for the safety of other peoples emotions and my own sanity. I hope tomorrow is better. Much better.

Uninvited Attention

I am well aware of how I act, how I am blah blah. Yes it would be perfectly fine if someone called me an attention whore. I am what I am. But when I do not do anything and receive I get this sort of rush. I say rush for lack of a better word, I don't know how to describe it but it's just different. It is like something being handed to you without working for it. Well this happen last night and I just did not know what to do with it. The attention was uninvited and I don't even know how to respond to him.

Stephanie Documentation 7

I am what I am. Deal. Thank you. I change my mind every five minutes so yes I am indecisive. Problem? Oh well. I like what I like when I like it. No comments or suggestions. Once again I say thank you. Let me live MY LIFE. Laugh at my jokes and smile at my decisions. I choose. You watch. Love you. Sometimes. This is just what it is.

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They don't get it.

This will not be the first and probably not the last time I will have to say this, I am honestly something you are not used to. Funny thing is that they don't get it. I always thought actions speak louder than words but I guess not. So I am going to break it down. I am a female who holds such high standards for myself it's crazy. I mean so crazy that many need not apply. Not all males but most males approach on bullshit and they get shutdown so quickly they don't even remember to get mad. Hoes don't like me because they don't understand me. The way I act and the way I carry myself confuses them. All of a sudden I am stuck up and think I am the baddest thing walking. Just so everyone is aware that IS NOT the case. My time is valuable so I choose who I spend it with very wisely. Where as hoes will jump and flip RIGHT ONTO their backs to please any male that shows them some attention. I am something you are not used to. Don't knock what you don't understand. I am a different breed from the majority of the females that are around. That is why most males do not know how to act around me. It is so simple to understand. I am classy! So I finally figured out that is why people lie on me. Because they just don't get it. The males want because nobody has ever had me, females get mad cause I stole there shine. So in there small minds they create what they want to be true. I was mad at first but now it is silly. I am somewhat flattered. Think of me always in whatever way you want to but as soon as lies comes to surface I WILL SNAP! I mean in the most ignorant and disrespectful of ways. This is not a threat, I can gurantee you that I will follow through on my word. No opinions, suggestions or comments need to be made on the way I choose to live my life! This is the last time I will be this nice about a situation. Love me long time since I am always on your mind! KISSES BITCHES!

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Assured

Let me start off by saying that I had an amazing night last night. Full of laughs, good music and great people. during my wonderful something amazing occurred. Something was reinforced, I was assured! In the back of my mind I have been wondering if it is really true that I can get what I want. Usually I am a strong believer but only lately my mind has been teetering on the idea. Well baby I am back! HAHA. It is true, I Stephanie Long can have whatever I want. If I want I am going to get it, I am glad to see nothing has changed. Just so we are all clear I am an attention whore, but only in the best possible way. I will never make myself look stupid or thirsty but I will always have the attention that I want. Let me end by saying that I had an amazing night last night.

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Stephanie Documentation 6

Last night was a goodnight. I faced my fears and addressed my flaws. I know what I want and how to get it. I am more focused now than ever. I am more aware and prepared. I am cautious but I am living. Blessed and thankful!

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Thought of you

It would be an understatement if I said I missed you.
I miss your presence.
The ability to actually see and touch you.
To be able to make the distinction from what you say and what you actually mean by looking into your eyes.
I miss how you let me have my way SOMETIMES lol, because most of the time I am right!!
I miss the low rumble of your laugh and how you can really never find the right words when you speak. But within those words that you can never find I always sense that everything is always going to be ok. Somehow your courage brings me a level of security and something beyond comfort. It may not make sense but when it doesn't make sense that is when it is the best.
The aspects of you that I miss the most is something I can't touch and what I cannot necessarily see, but it is there. It will always be there.
It would be an understatement if I said I missed you.

Holla If Ya Need Me - Trey Songz

Mouth says no, head shakes yes

Is it just me that hates when your friends call you out on something you did not want them to know. Something you thought you were hiding so well, and they just put it on blast. It can be so irritating at times. NOBODY IS SUPPOSED TO KNOW. It is kind of nice that my friends are paying so much attention to me. They notice the comments I make and how my eyes wonder when certain people enter. I will never admit it out loud, if they ask me I will only laugh. They know when I say no I sort of kinda don't mean it at all.

Especially when you wish did not feel the certain way that you do. You know? What they just put on blast.

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Good Night.

So this blog really should be three separate ones if you ask me but due to time I am going to stuff it all in here.

Part 1
A friend of mine and I have not spoken in about 3 days and yea it had been bugging me but of course I act like it doesn't. Well there was a party at his house and of course I went. I was not going to speak to him first so I walk pass and speak to someone else. Does he pay any attention to me? NO! I am not used to this at all but I just keep on like everything was normal. For awhile. Then I make myself noticeable. Basically I put the bate infront of his face and BITES it! :) A walk upstairs and a few apologies later everything is all good. Friends again! YAY! I missed him and he missed me. Good to know your thought about it. I was nice to have the attention again, stopped everything he was doing pulled me aside, away from the party sat down and talked to me. We need people like this in our life.

Part 2
This year has been a little different for me and a particular person. Let's name him John, that is a basic name. Last year it was a little intense, seen and talked to him everyday. This year that is not the case at all. I am fine with that, but I am the type of female that always has to know she can get it back. Regardless of the situation. Until tonight I was not sure that I could. Silly me. I always say I hate being wrong but I was kind of happy I was tonight. If I wanted what John and I had last year. I WILL GET IT! It is on his mind as often as it is on mine. We are only 2 weeks into school John. Where we going with this?

Part 3
Eyes. Lips. Smile and arms.
Deep. Full. Bright and firm.
At first glance I passed.
When I heard I didn't even care.
But now....
My eyes were stuck...on your
Eyes. Lips. Smile and arms
P.S. I thought it was pretty smooth how we both stuck around when they all left. I know you seen me looking and that was the plan

This was my Good night....so with that goonight!

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My First was today

It was good.
It was so hot
Too hot.
It was long.
It was very intense.
There was alot going on.
It was hard to pay attention.
It was alot of fun.
I screamed.
I laughed.
I left satisfied.
My first soccer game was very interesting, we won too. Beat a highly ranked school. GO TEAM!

I was wrong.

Gross. Waste of my time. Cannot believe I even looked at you like that. We live, we learn, and it's your loss.

Goodbye Whore! haha

Trey

So I have been in love with Trey Songz since he cut his hair off. I have always been a fan of his music but when he cut his hair my appreciation was much deeper. His talents were shown on his mix tapes and remakes of songs. A couple of my favorites would be "Your girlfriend can come too" and "Bust your windows", Trey really did his thing. Now that Trey Songz album is released we have been seeing a lot of him and I ain't mad at that. So last night I tuned into Ustream to watch Trey LIVE, do not judge me. As I was watching him I begin to get a little annoyed. The computer is frozen because of where he lives and the phone is not working. So he leaves, he goes and gets in the car so he can have service. I appreciated that because he promised his fans that he would speak to them. So he is really trying. So finally the computer is acting right but now all of sudden is phone is about to die. REALLY!?! At this point I am really over, then he begins to complain about all this stuff. Whining really. "This is the only day with my family and I am out here with yall....." Ew. Gross goodbye. Then I felt like he was trying to get smart with some girl on the phone. I know celebrities are not who we really see on the T.V. but come on now Trey. So I am sad to tell you guys that I fell out of love last night. Oh and I just read on Bossip (get hip) that he openly admitted he had crabs! GROSS! Trey I love your music but I am not a fan of you. Not that you should care about one persons opinion but I unfollowed you on Twitter. You disgust me a little! Keep the music coming though.

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Friends or WHATEVER!

So I have not been on here in awhile and it really hurts my soul. I have missed you so much but I am happy to be back. So I am really good friends with this girl and she has just rekindled a wack ass friendship with someone that I do not like. Now look I live my life and only my life so she can make her own decisions. The only problem is when my name comes up. Oh, honey I am not for that! I do not like that girl and never will. POINT BLANK! I have never had a trust issue with you the whole time we have known each other until now and I do not like it. I hate it. I know that I am going to have to get used to you being friends with her but I am never going to like it nor respect it. I think this whole rekindling of this friendship is beyond stupid you live like 14 hours away. You say you let stuff go, that is wonderful I do no think we should dwell in the past. But I feel that it is ignorant to just simply erase the character flaws that made you end the friendship in the first place. This is so irritating to me, I cannot even find the words to express myself in the best way. Be friends but leave me out of it in every single way. I do not want her saying my name and I do not want you to say it either. I do not care if she is asking how I am doing like she did the other day tell her I SAID I do not want her saying my name. Why does she even care how I am doing? Look, there are to many people in this world for everybody to be friends. We are not enemies she is just there. JUST THERE. I do not have to pay attention her.

Just thought I would let you know!
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